5/10/09

Mother's Day

i went to Brookside Cemetery today.  to see my mom's grave.  i really do miss her very very much. she died on September 17th.  seven months ago.  in a week, it will be eight months.  such gut wrenching sorrow i feel; when i think about her.  she had ovarian cancer.  the image will never leave me - of her acute suffering.  

i remember when her mother died.  my grandmother.  i remember how she wept.  she would often say "I miss my mother so very much" .  

my mom had a deep faith.  i was struck by her constant prayers while she lay on her death bed. while no longer having the ability to speak aloud, she prayed while barely having strength to move her mouth.  tiny whispers.  her hand moved in a small circle as to cross herself.  

she said good-bye to me.  she had no voice.  i raced through traffic to make it to her bedside.  my sister phoned me at work and said - bethy you better come now.  

it was like she was waiting for me.   her youngest.   her baby.  she always called me her baby.  i rushed her her bedside.  she tried so hard to speak to me.   i held her hand -  a gentle squeeze back from her.  and then she left this world.  i watched her leave...  me, her last child, held her hand during her last breath.   

can it really be?   that she is gone?   

I love you mom.  happy mothers day. 

K.D. Lang sings Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah


My mom is in the audience in this specific Video. She died in September - September 17th, 2008. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I will never forget you.